Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Synopsis for "Line 21"

Click here to return to part one of this post

JEANNIE hung up the phone after negotiating a five day extension of her juice payments to her uncle and began to panic. She had no idea on how she was going to come up with two thousand dollars by Friday and the prospect of having her knees capped weighed heavily on her conscience.

Sighing hard, she took out her newspaper to scan the help wanted ads, but her attention was diverted by someone sitting down next to her and whistling a lively tune.

Surprised to hear someone in such a good mood, she struck up a casual conversation with the man, who introduced himself as Ken Eppee casting director for adult movies. Several minutes later, Jeannie was on her way home with his business card and an invite to an open audition the next day.

However Jeannie still wasn’t convinced that she was doing the right thing, so she decided to bounce the idea off her symbiont AISSA. By the time they finished talking about it, Jeannie was convinced that this was the only way to pay off her debts.

The next day Jeannie got up early so as to get to the audition as early as possible. When she got there, she saw that there was a least a dozen other women competing for that same job. When her turn came, she hesitated as the idea of having public sex was about to become a reality. Twenty minutes later, her flawless celluloid performance got her the job.

Tuesday continued where Monday had left off at. Jeannie was so hyped up for her new job that her entire body was primed for use. After Aissa had explained the particulars as to why her entire body was primed and talked herself into tagging along to the shoot, Jeannie got dressed and took off for the suburbs. By the end the morning, she successfully shot her first piece of adult film, and when the day’s shoot concluded in the late afternoon, Jeannie cemented her reputation as a force to be reckoned with in the adult movie industry.

However, the excitement of the day quickly caught up with Jeannie as within a minute of pulling into the condo parking lot, she answered nature’s call and puked her brains out. Within a few minutes of staggering into her apartment to clean up, her next door neighbor GEOFF came over to check on her well being. After a short conversation, not only did she assure him that she was fine but managed to set up a lunch date at the park for the next day.

Once she got rid of him, she had a short but meaningful conversation with Aissa and promised to have a long talk about her new career and how it was going to be handled after she had dinner with her parents. Arriving at home a few hours later, she was very surprised to see her uncle’s bodyguard sitting in her apartment waiting to offer his services to her. Declining the offer, she sent him on his way and then spent the rest of the night quietly exploring her body.

The next morning Jeannie awakened to find herself on the couch and her uncle’s bodyguard sitting in the kitchen. After finding out as to why he was there, she thanked him and sent him on his way so that she could meet up with Geoff at the park for their lunch date. A few hours later, while on their way home, Aissa and Jeannie had an argument over the fact that Aissa had made an appearance and interrupted Jeannie’s lunch. When they got back to the apartment, Aissa reminded her that tomorrow’s shoot was taking place at the beach. Jeannie freaked and spent the rest of the night convincing herself that she was still doing the right thing.

The next day when Jeannie woke up she found that she was wrapped up like a mummy and Aissa was sitting on her stomach. After getting the particulars as to why she was wrapped up like a mummy, Jeannie was able to piece together the reason as to why she acted like goof last night. Unwrapping herself, Jeannie told Aissa that she was going to spend the day being her, so that she could experience first hand what it was like to live like a real person, as opposed to living her life through her. Taken by surprise at this sudden turn of events, Aissa quickly agreed to Jeannie’s idea and about twenty minutes after switching places, they took off for the beach.

Once they got there, Aissa took her time walking to the shoot location as she took in the sights, sounds and smells of the beach. When she got within visual range, she decided to make a memorable entrance to the video shoot location, and about twenty minutes later was giving her very first on-screen performance.

Right after the shoot broke for lunch Aissa spotted Wallace watching the action from a sea wall. Running over to talk to him, she quickly found out that Geoff had been spotted lurking around the parking lot. Before she had a chance to say anything else, Jeannie re-entered her body and threw a conniption fit. Aissa maintained her composure long enough until she was out of sight then gave Jeannie a verbal bitch slapping, before returning to the beach to finish up the video shoot.

The drive home from beach was just as eventful as the drive to, as Jeannie continued wigging out over the fact that Geoff had shown up at the video shoot. Aissa simply tuned out her latest rant and spent the rest of the trip thinking about how to coexist with someone suffering from a broken heart. Shortly after arriving at home, Aissa bumped into Geoff and after a brief exchange, got him to agree to talk to Jeannie about what happened at the beach.

Jeannie and Geoff had a heart-to-heart talk and when it ended, she walked out with a repaired relationship and a marriage proposal. When Aissa found about the marriage proposal, she became so genuinely happy about it that for the first and only time in her life, she became a flesh and blood sister to Jeannie. The moment soon ended and Jeannie spent the rest of the night consoling and comforting an emotionally distraught Aissa.

Jeannie woke up the next morning with the stereo blasting and Aissa nowhere to be found. Before she could do anything else her uncle’s bodyguard’s deep voice pierced her brain and brought her back to the present. After finding out that Aissa (masquerading as Jeannie) had called him and why he came over to the apartment, she thanked him for his time and sent him on his way.

Once he left, Jeannie had another chat with Aissa and once again helped through another emotional meltdown. Once she’d finished, Jeannie broached the delicate subject of their co-existence by stating that Aissa could spend the next few hours living the life of a real person with no interference from her.

Before Aissa could say anything, she quickly found herself that her entire character and personality had bled through and she was now in all appearances, herself and not Jeannie. She proved this to the outside world when the leading man from the video shoot stopped by and thought she was Jeannie. She showed him otherwise and they quickly spent the next few hours on the rooftop having all kinds of crazy sex.

When the man left, Aissa noticed on her cell phone that she had about ten minutes to get dressed and to the apartment so that she could make the body switch with Jeannie. She quickly got dressed and ran down the six flights to the apartment, only to find the front door locked. Distraught, she sat down and began to cry. Just then Jeannie’s uncle’s bodyguard showed up and opened up the door for her.

Aissa thanked him and ran inside. Quickly changing out her bathing suit, she reached up to the ceiling mirror just in time as Jeannie made the exchange and zapped her back to her world. When Aissa came to, Jeannie barked at her to get dressed as she had an important lunch engagement with Geoff at the park. Aissa balked, so Jeannie patiently explained that she had epiphany while she was gone and would explain it in greater detail after their lunch date in the park.

A few hours later and oblivious to what Geoff’s ulterior motives might’ve been at lunch, Jeannie spent the rest of the afternoon first explaining what her epiphany was and then comforting Aissa as the realization that she would be spending part of her life living as a real person sank in.

Emotionally spent after the intense tête-à-tête with Aissa, Jeannie went up to the rooftop to crash for a while. Within a few seconds of closing her eyes, she had an intense dream that culminated in solidifying her symbiotic relationship with Aissa. Waking up in a pool of sweat, she staggered down the stairs to get dressed for her dinner date with her uncle and Geoff. After stopping by the apartment to pick up Geoff, Jeannie took off for the restaurant.

After arriving and before going into the restaurant, Jeannie noticed a change in Geoff’s demeanor after he finished a short phone conversation as his tone became a little menacing. She grabbed his arm and marched off to the restaurant, where a few minutes later, they were seated at her uncle’s table. Jeannie excused herself to freshen up and to retrieve the money that she owed her uncle stashed in her bra. When she got back to the dining room, she found herself on the receiving end of a revolver that Geoff was pointing at her.

He grabbed the money, briefly used her as a shield, then shoved her to the ground as he ran out the back exit and down the alleyway. Jeannie quickly gave chase and when she got into striking distance, she launched a flying tackle. At the same exact moment, Geoff turned and fired. Jeannie’s uncle’s bodyguard arrived on the scene a few minutes later, and saw that Jeannie was gravely wounded. He killed Geoff and quickly turned his attention back to Jeannie’s gunshot wound. As he tried to stop the bleeding, he thought about that special girl who touched him like no other, and cried.

(c) 2011 by GBMJr. All Rights Reserved


  1. seems interesting - i am more of a nonfiction guy myself, I will get into this when i have a little more time

  2. Ryan: Thanks for the comment. I think that was the toughest part--making it interesting enough for people to want more.

  3. G, I tried to read this like I was some super successful editor or agent.

    I like the approach that you're taking, but I think that you need a more in-depth explanation of the relationship between Jeannie and Aissa up front. One word in the fourth paragraph is too easy for a busy person to miss if they're skimming. And, if they do miss it, they'll be so confused when they hit the mummy paragraph that they might just move on to the next manuscript. That would be a shame.

  4. Mama Z: Thanks for the input.

    I was trying to find that proper balance between too little and too much detail while I was writing it, and you're right about the one word explanation about their relationship. A busy person would miss it while skimming through it.

    I did try to go a little more in-depth later on, but I think you're right about expounding on it near the beginning.

  5. It's interesting having read it before - I guess now I'm confused about what a synopsis is supposed to look like, versus an outline. Hmm.

  6. R: You and me both.

    However, I will try my best to distill.

    An outline is merely a summary/bullet points of what you want to write (some of us were tortured with this while in school). A lot of writers actually write their stories with an outline.

    A synopsis is something that strips down the components of a story to merely all the key points in a short story format. Oh and that short story format should sound, smell and look like the real thing.

    I wrote this one as a chapter by chapter. Once I get it straightened out, I'll eliminate the spaces between the paragraphs so it looks like a short story.

  7. G, one thing I think you have to change is the tense of the synopsis. Should be written in present tense (regardless of how the actual novel is written). I agree with Mama Zen - that critical info could easily be over-looked.

  8. Talon: I'm pretty sure that I wrote this all the way through in present tense, but I will give it another read through just to make sure.

    Thanks for the advice.


Originality. Is. Good. Be original. Be thoughtful. But most importantly, make me think.