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After escaping from the bowels of my own personal Hell in Purgatory some two hundred seventy-five years ago, all that I wanted to do in the early afternoon twilight of my earthly existence was to continue living the dual life of the supreme demonic bitch that I really am and the fiercely independent single mom that I portray myself to be.
Instead, I get dragged into a pathetic little plot of revenge concocted by a weaselly human named Kevin, who appeared on my front porch one morning, ringing my doorbell.
I answer the door and ask, "Yes?"
"Good morning, Miss Ashanti! My name is Kevin and I need you to help me get the girl of my dreams."
"No," I say just before slamming the door in his face.
Almost instantly, the doorbell rings yet again. Frowning, I prepare myself to put my fist through his head the second that I open the door. but just as I turn the knob, Kevin says, "If you don't do what I want, I'll tell the authorities where they can find you and your brats."
"Authorities?"
"Religious authorities."
I pause for a moment so that I can wrap my brain around the threat that little weasel decided to utter. I think very hard at calling his bluff, but quickly realize that if I did and if he did, I wouldn't be able to stand the torture of listening to my children cry out for the next millennium.
So reluctantly, I agree to hep him win the girl of his dreams, by any means necessary. And apparently, "any means necessary" meant that not only would I have to become Keisha, the girl of his dreams and desires, but I would have to turn Keisha into the biggest and easiest lay the world had ever seen.
For the next three days and two nights, I took control of Keisha's body and became every man and women's desirable boy and girl toy.
I flirted, I teased, I put out and ultimately, in one night, brought five hot men to their blessed knees as I allowed them to explore Keisha's body most intimately.
After that particular night, I was beating myself up over what I had done to that poor innocent girl. She didn't deserve to be turned into someone's little boy toy, and she definitely didn't deserve that little weasel Kevin riding to her rescue because I had turned her into that boy toy. I was devastated and destroyed by what I had done to that poor little girl that my eldest child popped in and sent out a rare distress call to all corners of the spiritual world.
In a matter of minutes, two archangels, Michael and Raphael, answered the distress call and came to my rescue. Michael took me away to a secret place, and gave me back not only my true identity, but my true self as well.
With my ego and self-esteem now being fed with a combination of pure adrenaline and vitriolic rage over what Kevin had forced me to do, Michael brought me over to Keisha's condo so that I could make things right.
And making things right is just what I did. With a little help from a trio of sinners and a menagerie of Mother Natures most lethal animals, I turned the tables on Kevin most effectively, and just before sending him to a place where he would never be found, got the answers to a few personal questions that were bugging the crap out of me. With my thirst for vengeance now completely quenched, I turned my attention back to making things right with Keisha.
Prior to vaporizing that little weasel, I gave Keisha back her body. After a good night's sleep was had by all, I explained in vivid detail to Keisha what I had spent the last three days doing to her. During a lull in my monologue, I had an opportunity to gently probe her innermost thoughts and fears, which eventually allowed me to come up with a plan to make things right.
Making it right, was to offer her the chance of reliving those three days all over again, with no one being the wiser. And believe it or not, she did.
After reading that first paragraph, I now know the true identity of my biological mother ;)
ReplyDeleteGood synopsis!
M: Cute. I think we can extend that to other certain family members as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks. But it still needs some work I think
Haha, good plot twist!
ReplyDeleteAnd , I can't believe that snow on your other blog. Well I can believe it because I saw your clips. But very glad I wasn't spending the night camped out in your car for some reason. :)
Jenny: Thanks. I think that story is gonna be a winner, since I'm getting some positive feedback on it as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's really tough to write something in the present tense and I thought I pulled it off rather well.
My town got spanked with about 31 inches of snow, and yeah, I don't think I wouldn't to spend the night camped out in the car either.